


If He Were Here

by CyberDalek96



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 17:54:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20604893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyberDalek96/pseuds/CyberDalek96
Summary: It's Derek's birthday, the first since he passed. Rated T for brief mentions of sex.





	If He Were Here

**Author's Note:**

> -I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters.  
-All mistakes are mine.  
-Comments, reviews, and kudos welcome.

Meredith turns the alarm off and looks at the empty space beside her. Some mornings, she can tamp down the deep sadness—though _sadness _doesn’t seem to be a strong enough word. Other mornings, it’s unbearable. This morning in particular is especially difficult. Today is Derek’s birthday. The first since he passed.

Meredith closes her eyes and reaches out her hand, laying her arm where Derek should be.

If he were here, he’d pretend to still be asleep (though the smile on his face would give him away) so she’d tease him with promises of the things she’d do if he would just get up already. He loved hearing her talk dirty. At the mention of his favorite activity, he’d spring up and pin her down, and they’d do all the things she’d promised.

If he were here, she’d then go downstairs to help the kids fix him a special breakfast. She’d text him when it was finished, and he’d come down and pretend to be surprised. His surprise would be fake, but his joy and gratitude would be real. He’d hug and kiss her and each of the kids before they all sat to eat.

If he were here, the kids would give him gifts of artwork—which he’d proudly display on the bedroom wall beneath each of their photographs—and a new coffee mug, t-shirt, and blanket. She’d give him that watch he’d been eyeing for a while and assure him she had more gifts for him, but those would have to wait until later.

If he were here, they’d all go out for lunch at his favorite casual restaurant. He’d splurge on a steak so big he’d barely be able to finish it. She’d get a burger. He’d tease her about being boring when there were so many other options. The kids would order chicken tenders and indulge themselves with ketchup. After lunch, they’d go to the local ice cream shop. Despite being full, he’d order a large chocolate-dipped vanilla in a chocolate-dipped waffle cone. It’d be her turn to tease him about being boring. She’d order a small strawberry cheesecake in a chocolate-dipped waffle cone. The kids would order… who knows? The only thing consistent in their ice cream orders on such occasions was their choice to put almost every topping on their ice cream. Depending on the weather, they’d then go to the park or an indoor play place. “Do you really want to do this?” Meredith would ask skeptically. He’d put an arm around her shoulder. “Of course. The greatest gift is spending quality time with you and the kids,” he’d reply.

If he were here, they’d go to the movie theater after the kids burned off their energy. Unless there was nothing good playing. In which case they’d go home, build a fort, and watch a movie there. The kids would be thrilled to hang out in the fort. Derek would be equally as thrilled to cuddle with her on the couch.

If he were here, Amelia would come over after the movie to babysit the kids. Derek would dress in his best suit and wear Meredith’s favorite blue tie… the one that brought out his eyes so well. She’d put on a little black dress. She wouldn’t tell him until partway through dinner, but she’d forgo wearing panties. They’d kiss the kids goodbye, thank Amelia, and leave. They’d make it to the restaurant just in time for their reservation. They’d both order the day’s special and cheesecake for dessert. And a bottle of champagne, of course. They’d flirt all throughout dinner, mouthing dirty words and playing footsy under the table. Derek would eventually text Amelia and ask if she could stay the night; they’d be home soon but in no condition to take care of the kids. Amelia would say that the kids were in bed and that she’d already planned on staying the night. Derek and Meredith would pay the bill and head home. They’d spend the night making love.

Meredith sighs, tears pricking her eyes. There’s a soft knock on her door, and Zola and Bailey step inside.

“Mommy?” Zola says.

“Yes, Zozo?”

“Can we make breakfast for Daddy’s birthday before we go visit him?”

Meredith wipes a tear from her cheek. “Of course, sweetie. You guys can get started. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

Zola and Bailey trot away, excited to continue the tradition. Meredith drags herself out of bed and gets ready for the day. Before heading downstairs, she grabs the flowers she and the kids picked out for Derek.

She sighs again. If he were here, she and the kids wouldn’t be preparing to spend part of what was once a joyous day at a cemetery.


End file.
